


The Tau'ri Call It Teambuilding

by Princess of Geeks (Princess)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Character of Color, Humor, Multi, first person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-16
Updated: 2010-03-16
Packaged: 2017-10-08 01:03:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess/pseuds/Princess%20of%20Geeks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SG-1 tries to find common ground with an offworld culture, and misunderstandings ensue about the nature of their teams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tau'ri Call It Teambuilding

**Author's Note:**

> Another story from 2006. I really love this one.

The wall mosaic was obviously very old, and it was missing a few pieces, but its colors blazed in the light from the sconces. The goddess looked out at us, serene intensity in her golden gaze. Her eyes made me uneasy. A blue, blown-glass chalice filled with wine stood on a marble shelf beneath the portrait, petals strewn around it.

"She bade us call her Rhea, and though she left us in a time so long ago that it cannot be counted in years, we will never forget her," the guide, Nisus, said gravely. I translated for Sam. It was almost Latin, and that was great, for a lot of reasons, not least because all those days and days of their juggling and head-banging on desks had, in fact, resulted in Jack and Teal'c not only mastering, but retaining, a language so close to this that they were having no trouble speaking with our new friends. No trouble at all. Wow. The entire burden of communication did not, for once, fall to me, and it was, well, fun, to hear Jack fluently speak in a foreign -- alien -- not-so-dead language. Pretty damn sexy, in fact.

After briefly explaining about Rhea, Beloved Mother of All the Gods, Nisus glanced around solemnly, as if measuring our reverence, and touched his forehead. Then he turned away. Teal'c looked knowingly at me, but said nothing. I couldn't make myself copy the obeisance, but I dipped my head and followed Teal'c, and he followed Jack and Sam as Nisus led the way down stone corridors to a narrow balcony overlooking the harbor.

"So," Nisus said. "Now you have seen the fortress. My lord Sarpedon will dine with you at noon. Shall I show you to your room, so that you may refresh yourselves before the meal?"

"Yes," Jack said, looking at us, just in case we intended to protest, or ask for another lecture. "Yes, I think that will do nicely for now. Daniel?"

"We look forward to sharing your hospitality."

"And this afternoon you shall learn all you wish from my armorers, and we look forward in turn to learning more about your methods of war. The servants will come soon to escort you," and with a flamboyant salute, accentuated by his wide sleeves, Nisus left us with his stewards.

Jack muttered to Sam, "Guy looks like a pirate in that shirt." Sam tried not to smile, failed, and ducked her head. More stone passageways, and the guest wing. Our quarters were luxurious -- a single room, stuffed with furniture, spread with carpets, hung with banners. A smaller adjoining room that turned out to be a private bath, equally luxurious; positively, in fact, Greco-Roman. Our small balcony had a breathtaking view of the seacoast. The breeze was cool. I turned to see Jack emerge into the mild sunshine. His face softened.

"I could like this," Jack said in English. He scanned the horizon, shoving his gun under his arm.

"It reminds me of the Aegean; the coastline, the hills, everything, except, cooler."

"And with pirates!"

"There were plenty of Aegean pirates. And, by the way, good job with the language, Jack. You're getting everything."

"Like riding a bicycle." Jack was smug.

Teal'c emerged. "Juggling apparently is an effective aid to language acquisition."

It was nice. No one shooting at us, no angry enemy Jaffa, no one bellowing _Sholva!_ before attempting to obliterate Teal'c. Sam, who had apparently taken advantage of the bath facilities, was last out on the balcony. She sighed with pleasure and removed her cap.

"What did they mean, Daniel, by all that elbowing and snickering at the gate when they were escorting us up here?"

"Well, they might have been flirting." There had been eight soldiers on gate duty. They were quite the swashbucklers -- long hair, earrings, looking vaguely Mediterranean. Jack was right; they did remind one of pirates from children's books, and they all carried the long repeating rifles that had so intrigued Jack and Sam. There were two teams of four -- rather like our teams, apparently. Once we had assured them our intentions were peaceful, they agreed to bring us here to meet the local ruler and see the place.

"You said they asked you if they should pity me, or envy me." She ruffled her hair. The strengthening sea breeze was delicious.

"I know; I know they were kidding around -- well, at least there was some humor there, but I can't really figure it out yet."

Jack, satisfied that no one was likely to attack us from the balcony or from the roof, had ducked indoors.

"Guys," he called, and we all turned. "Dibs on the bed tonight." I followed him in, noticing now what I'd missed before.

"One bed," I said. Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

****

Lunch was a feast. Daniel asked a lot of questions about their goddess, and for the answers, Sarpedon deferred to a matronly and eloquent priestess. I heard enough to get that whatever the former wife of the clearly-and-most-sincerely-dead Cronos might or might not have done before she brought this particular group of her followers to their island paradise, she had exited stage left long long ago, and had apparently taken her Jaffa and her sarcophagus with her. I stopped listening less than a fourth of the way through the recounting of the legends, leaving that part of the recon up to Daniel and Teal'c. I concentrated on the dancing girls and on helping Carter chat up Nisus, who apparently was some kind of weapons master and 2IC.

First he described the various battles and alliances of the dear dead days of old. I didn't try to translate all that. She had a lot of questions, which he was very happy to answer, about the projectile weapons that the guards at the stargate carried. Toward the end of the proceedings, Nisus was called up to the head table by the boss, and Carter turned to me, all eager and radiant. "It sounds as if the basis for their weapons technology is gunpowder, or something very much like gunpowder, but doesn't the range and the explosive capacity of their guns and grenades sound much more intense than what we have?"

"You think he's just exaggerating to impress the tourists? Kind of like a, you know, a fish story?"

"Oh, I'm sure Nisus would never tell fish stories. Would you, sir?" Carter twinkled. She was having fun, too. New cool weapons that it looked like we were going to get to play with; and no one shooting them at us. And though there was no blue jello for her dessert, the food, I had to admit, was really good. Sarpedon was standing for a final toast and gathering some of his guys around him.

So SG-1 raised glasses, too, and there was a lot of ritualistic back slapping and an alarming amount of hugging among Nisus, Sarpedon, and a grey-haired guy who'd been seated next to Teal'c. A certain amount of kissing, too. Hmm. They toasted all around several times, and drank to the memory of Marcus, and the three of them snuggled up and got all misty. I drank to Marcus, whoever he was, and noticed again how few women there were at our little lunch, and how the guys were all seated in fours.

We got through all the manly hugging, and were packed off to the firing range and the armory. Carter was right. They had something we didn't -- some extra ingredient to their gunpowder that gave a bunch of extra oomph to all their explosives and projectile weapons. The demonstrations were loud, surprising and impressive. I thought Carter was going to burst with all the information she was attempting to absorb. Daniel could hardly translate fast enough. Nisus let the head gunpowder-mixer guy handle their geeky questions, and drifted over to me.

"You are the commander of this team."

"I am."

"And your second is Teal'c?"

"No, my second is Major Carter."

He looked at me like I had asserted pigs flew. "She serves you as Doctor Jackson does, as a scientist, a weapons expert?"

"No, no, Major Carter is regular Air Force, like me. She is a scientist, yes, but she's also military." I hoped the Ancienty Latiny equivalents I was scrambling for of all these words were going to work. I kinda needed Daniel's help, but I hated to interrupt him and Carter. They were going at it fast and furious over there with the gunpowder additive guy.

"And the four of you are a team."

"Yes, we're SG-1, the four of us." I pointed to my patch. We had already discussed the gate symbols, like the one on my other shoulder. "We, uh, pretty much stick together."

"A woman; an expert on languages and cultures; a warrior from another world, not of the Tau'ri; and -- you."

Geez, nothing slipped past this guy. "That's right," I said, holding his gaze. I still got this a lot, and I never found it amusing. At all. If he wanted to make a big deal out of the motley-ness of my crew, well, he could blow it out his ass.

"You are a field team. Number one; the first among several that explore and fight for your world."

"That's right." I'm sure my voice was icy by then. He gave up, satisfied he'd understood me, yet still dubious. He looked over at Daniel and Carter and his weapons guy, and shook his head.

"Things have changed much since our worlds diverged, my friend."

"If you say so."

He wouldn't let go of it, though. We watched some more very impressive demonstrations of things that blew up real good, examined their rifles and their sidearms and their grenades and mines. They were way behind us in electronics, of which they had exactly none, but their explosives were way ahead.

Carter sidled over. "The potential of this ... Daniel's calling it a "Greek fire" compound?" she whispered. "Added to our conventional projectiles? Remember how we learned that naquadah augments a nuclear explosion? Sir, this could be something similar for conventional weapons. A grenade of the same size and weight, with multiple times the explosive potential. Something the size of a pencil eraser or a firecracker than could blow up a building!"

"Sweet."

As we headed back toward the fortress, Carter and Nisus and I hashed out the beginnings of a deal. This was definitely useful, and added bonus: It was something the brass who didn't get the whole explore-the-galaxy thing would understand immediately. While Carter and the weapons masters started talking specifics, what we'd bring them in exchange; when; how we'd pack up some of their powder to take home safely and analyze; all that jazz, Nisus collared me again.

"Forgive me, Colonel O'Neill, but, your Major Carter."

"Yes?" I suppressed a sigh.

"She has no husband at home, away from your Essgeecee, your fortress, or whatever the Tau'ri call it." He waved impatiently as he walked along.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no." It wasn't fun to repeat myself, but I was feeling a tad mellower. We were on our way back to dinner, the kids were delighted with what they'd seen, it looked like we had something concrete to bring back to General Hammond. I needed to try to be patient with this guy. I did wonder why he wasn't grilling me about aliens or civilians, and only about the gender thing, but whatever. I could hear Teal'c and Carter in the background, discussing the possibility of sharing some staff weapons. Teal'c had demonstrated his, and of course they had latched on to the potential benefit of the tactics with an energy weapon as opposed to projectile. These people might look like something out of Treasure Island, but they knew their stuff when it came to guns.

"Of course it's none of my business; forgive me. I am not trying to lure her away or suggest any sort of untoward alliance. I have no wife nor any desire for one. But, you see, it's just such a new idea for us. Surely you understand. Female warriors -- we have no such custom here."

I tried to channel Daniel. "Well, we appreciate your open-mindedness. Many planets we've traveled to don't allow women to serve in the military. Earth didn't until a few years ago. But I assure you, she's a full member of my team. Carter is one of us."

"Day and night."

"Day and night," I agreed. Couldn't he give it a rest?

****

Dinner was extensively more lavish than lunch, but finally Jack and Sam and Teal'c and I got away from the dancing and the toasting and the endless desserts, and returned to the room. I was all talked out from translating, even though it was just for Sam. There was a lot to say about the new gunpowder chemistry. My three warriors were all pretty happy about the potential for trade.

Sam and Jack engaged in a very delicate and diplomatic argument over who should sleep on the couch versus the floor or the bed, and as Teal'c had ducked into the bathroom for a little quiet for his kel-no-reem, I figured discretion was the better part of valor and that I should stay out of the bed discussion. I would accept whatever their decision turned out to be. Meantime, I went ahead and temporarily claimed the bed, plopping down where the light was best to make some notes. Teal'c probably could have gone to the balcony to sit, as quiet as this place was. Years of peace, lots of fishing and trade. Apparently this was a city-state, and had been first among equals for almost a decade now. No fighting; only reveling in past glories and war stories. If we did give them staff weapons, they would probably see use only as part of an honor guard for Lord Sarpedon. I chewed on my pen.

I didn't hear how the discussion, argument, thingy, turned out, but Sam stretched out on a sofa, perhaps checking it out as a place to sleep, and Jack sat down near me and started to take off his boots. Then servants knocked and just came on in, without waiting for Jack's permission.

I sat up. They bustled around, leaving trays of snacks and drinks on ottomans, and a tray of little lidded containers on the bedside table. They stared at Sam on her couch. She wiggled her fingers at them in greeting, but they didn't smile.

I said, "Could I ask, might we have a few more blankets for Major Carter, here? If that wouldn't be too inconvenient."

"Of course you may. But... perhaps there are already plenty, see?" One of the women flipped up the layers of bedding on the corner of the mattress nearest me, and smiled tentatively.

"Well, yes, I see, but I thought she might get a little chilly there on the sofa." The servants exchanged worried glances. They finished their bustling around, and left. Jack got up and rambled around in his socks to check out the artwork, letting Sam and me take our notes as he waited for Teal'c to rejoin us. Jack paced the perimeter, pausing at the nightstand to fiddle with the little containers and jars the servants had left there.

"Daniel," he frowned at me. I was distracted; I was trying to compare their syntax with the pure Ancient that I'd read on other planets, but was hampered because I was going only by what I'd heard, not yet having had access to much written material from our presumptive new allies, except for the scanty inscription on the Rhea shrine. It was hard to re-focus on what Jack was saying.

"Daniel, these aren't bedtime snacks. What --" There was a clatter in the hall, and Jack dropped the lid back on the little pot he'd been sniffing. Nisus, angry as a thundercloud, burst in without knocking. Jack and Sam were on guard in an instant, reaching for their sidearms.

Nisus demanded, "What else have you lied to us about?"

"Lied?" Jack was coolly determined, not giving an inch.

"Major Carter is not one of you. What else have you concealed?"

I stood up, just behind Jack, and butted in. Nicely. "Why do you say that Major Carter, Sam, is not one of us?"

Nisus was red in the face, positively apoplectic. He gestured toward the sofa, and Sam's things piled around it.

"She is not one of you. She does not share your bed; she cannot share your work. If you lied about that, about something so important, something we thought we shared with you, how can we trust you? What else have you lied about?"

Aha.

"Oh, no, no. We're just, not, used to a ... new place yet." I eased between Sam and Jack, slid one arm around Sam, the other very, very tentatively around him. They were both tense, but oh so warm. I didn't squeeze. I did my best not to enjoy it. "It, ah, takes us a while to, uh, unwind, and, you know, really feel at home." Jack glared at me. I could feel Teal'c ease in behind and to one side of us, his kel-no-reem interrupted. I glanced over, and he had that indefinable concerned/resigned/busted look on his face, but he had -- very unlike him -- put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "We don't usually ... share ... things ... off world, on a new planet, to the extent that we ... do ... at home," I elaborated, and prayed that the others would just go with it.

Nisus' expression became a bit less explosive, but he was far from mollified.

"Daniel? A word?" Jack bent his head to me. We whispered in English, and I hoped it didn't seem too rude. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm, uh, actually playing along, Jack. I just figured out, because of his misconception about Sam, that it's, very, uh, very Greek here. Very Greek. In more ways than I realized. Their teams are a lot like our teams, except, uh, they're all men, as you probably noticed, and they are, uh, apparently lot, um, closer -- than the U.S. military would ever want the four of us to be."

"Ah."

"A lot closer." The toasts to fallen comrades and all the mistiness and kissing were making sense. Maybe I was wrong to play along with Nisus, but it seemed like the first objective was to calm him down, so that we could talk. And in a way, my statement was true; we were a team, and we _were_ closer and more friendly at home than we ever could be off world. Just not quite in the way Nisus would think I meant.

"And to think I was all worried about sexism." Jack shook his head. He was speaking in the Ancient Latin dialect again.

"Well, yeah. That, too."

Jack turned back to Nisus and settled his arm more firmly around me. I hoped my face didn't change too much. It wasn't often that Jack deigned to pick up a cue of mine like this; and it was a pretty weird situation. All righty then.

"I assure you, Major Carter is a full and total and complete, uh, part of our team. If it'll make you feel any better..." He switched to English. "Carter, stand down; come over here."

Sam, who'd been listening without comprehension, but clearly following the ebb and flow of tension in the room, was a little stiff, still wary, as she holstered her Beretta and went around to Jack's right. Jack put his arm around her. Jack said in English, "Don't freak, Carter," and kissed her on the cheek.

It was all I could do to not laugh. To cover my expression, I had the brilliant, well, evil, impulse to snuggle closer to Jack and kiss _him_ on the cheek. So, I did. Twice. Well, hey, I said to my conscience. Can you blame me? For all I knew, I'd never, ever get such a legitimate chance again.

"See?" Jack said to Nisus. "Nice and cozy? No problem?"

His arms were still around both of us, and he elegantly shifted all our weight backward so that the three of us had to sit down heavily on the bed. Teal'c stood, watching us, still very much on guard despite the fact that Nisus was unarmed. If Nisus could read Jaffa body language.

Nisus looked daggers, but he swept out of the room without another word. Teal'c stared down at us with a look that, for him, was the equivalent of a guffaw.

"Don't say it, Teal'c."

"Say what, O'Neill?" And Jack thought he had a corner on the "dumb" act.

"Would someone like to explain to me what just happened?" said Sam, the long-suffering. "And why didn't _someone_ make me learn the farking language _ahead_ of time?"

I took pity on her as I took my arm from around Jack's shoulders. "Um, I figured out why they were teasing you. In this culture it's quite a stretch for them to comprehend a woman as part of a combat team. Because their teams are kinda different from what we understand as, uh, teams. They're warrior units of, uh, blood brothers on the ancient Greek model. Sexual partners. Fight to the death and all that."

Jack had recovered enough that I could hear the laughter in his voice. "Our hosts are being awfully, very, open minded about Carter, aren't they, Daniel?"

"I'd have to say, yes."

"Holy Hannah."

Jack went on, "Yeah, well, I was all poised to give him the 'Yeah, a woman's on my team, what of it' speech, when really I should have been preparing the 'Don't ask and don't make us tell' speech."

Sam's expression was unreadable, but she wasn't mad. I was pretty sure. Jack fell back on the bed with an audible "whoof."

Right about then Nisus sent the servants back in, no doubt to try to confirm or disprove our protests of solidarity with their customs. Well. Attempting to suit the action to my impetuous words, I slid off the bed, knelt next to Jack, and began rubbing his feet. Then, surprising the shit out of me, Teal'c knelt and began to help me. He still had that about-to-burst-into-laughter look on his solemn face. Jack jerked back up to sitting. He glanced around the room at the make-work the servants were performing, and wiggled his toes. He said in their language, "I'll give you six years to stop that."

I replied in English, "You owe me, Jack. Your feet stink."

"Yes, O'Neill. They do."

Sam sighed, watching us. "So, we're playing along, then."

"For the time being. You got a better idea, Carter? Their gunpowder doohickeys -- they're pretty impressive."

"I know, but... Brings new meaning to the term 'fraternization,' sir, is all I'm saying." Sam had a suspicious twinkle in her eye as she watched us work on Jack's feet.

"Keep your shirt on, Carter. Literally."

"Yes, sir. But you're not going to make me sleep in the middle, are you, sir?" Yes, she was definitely enjoying this.

"I shall sleep in the middle," Teal'c intoned.

And so it was decided.

True to his word, Jack let Sam have the outside on the far side of Teal'c, and he took the outside, um, behind me. We didn't undress entirely. I was hoping that wouldn't alarm the servants all over again. It was warm, and cozy, and physically quite comfortable although psychologically more than a little uncomfortable, but we'd slept in much, much worse places. We all tried not to giggle or whisper too much. I fell asleep listening to them all breathe. I think Jack was still awake after I finally dozed off.

And in the morning, Jack was awake when I swam groggily into consciousness, hoping for something like coffee. Surprising how many worlds had developed something hot with caffeine or some related stimulant for a morning drink. And on a few worlds, there was actual coffee, brought from Earth who knows when. (That would be a research project all in itself, tracing the spread of coffee beans through the Milky Way. Not that anyone would believe, if I started work on it, that the research was NOT self-serving, nor intended to be used to prioritize future gate visits.)

So as always, I woke up hoping blindly for coffee, and, as very much not always, feeling warm and cozy between Jack and Teal'c. I was wedged in, my front against Teal'c's back, listening to him breathe, and he was still asleep, but Jack was definitely awake. It was his breathing that gave him away, as well. Too fast and shallow for sleep. Also I could feel it, warm and light, ruffling the hair on my neck. Jack was lying with an arm slung over me. I could see his hand, pressed against Teal'c's ribs. This was snuggling. Oh, yeah. My arm was stretched down and back, and I'd been holding on to his thigh in my sleep, pulling it against me, bunching up his boxers. My other arm was folded beside me, but I, like Jack, had pressed a hand to Teal'c. Best for last: Besides Jack's careful, wide-awake breathing, there was something else to notice. His hard-on matched my own. I tried not to change how I was breathing while I closed my eyes and tried to memorize how it felt; that hot firmness lying so still, pressed against me. Because this was something else I might never get to do again. Why cut this time short? We lay there for a while, pretending to ignore how we all were, though mostly clothed, snuggling up a storm. Then I heard Sam turn and stretch and yawn. Teal'c shifted; apparently pulling her closer. The movement made Jack's cock rub deliciously against my ass, and I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled in lieu of purring. I wished I could read the expression on Jack's face. His arm stayed put, though. As usual, Teal'c didn't let any sort of silly, embarrassing conventions get in the way of the direct experience of whatever good things life had to offer him.

"Good morning," Teal'c said. He sounded happy.

"Good morning," Sam said, "this is nice." And she made an indefinable satisfied sound and I could feel her wedge parts of herself closer in to Teal'c, like puzzle pieces. The movement was transmitted through his body. Warm. Warm, warm, warm.

His "Indeed" was more of a quiet rumble than a word. No one offered to move after that, except Jack's hand slid from Teal'c's side and rested beside my own. He was still pressed against my back, hard-on and all. I resisted the urge to writhe against him. I certainly didn't want to get up, to end this. Who knows what would have happened if the servants hadn't, once again, burst in unannounced, bustling around, opening drapes, and talking about breakfast and baths? Well, at least they could report back that we did indeed sleep in the same bed.

****

When three members of SG-1, plus me, stepped through the gate to this new Planet Pirate, the one with the souped up gunpowder, their honor guard looked startled, and then upset, like someone just ran over their dog. If they had dogs. The leader eased up to O'Neill and went down on one knee, for Christ's sake. I could tell the colonel wasn't expecting that, but he kept his cool.

"We rejoice at your return, yet we mourn for your loss," the guy said. It seemed like he was improvising; like that was not what he'd intended to say at first. It was nice of Jackson to translate for me. Thoughtful, that guy. O'Neill patted the alien on the shoulder.

"Get up, Nisus, please. What loss? What are you talking about? And it's good to see you, too."

"Your loss. Your Major Carter. We will drink the toast to her tonight. How did it happen? Are you at war on some other world? You did not tell me you were facing battle even as you made plans for trade with us. I did not realize."

"Major Carter?"

"You thought I would forget so soon the nature of your unit?"

The guy, Nisus, was up now, and he squared off with the colonel, looking upset and angry, all at the same time. I didn't quite aim my gun at him, but I was thinking about it. He was not armed; that's all that kept me from it.

"Nisus, Carter is fine. We're not in a war, at least not any more than usual. She just didn't come with us this trip."

"Did not come with you?" Nisus looked like someone had blurted that Santa Claus wasn't real. I felt for the guy. Dealing with aliens, you had to have some sympathy for these idiots. Even when they were smart idiots, which these folks were reputed to be.

"No, she had some other work to do, something urgent. She's fine. This is Captain Dunbar. He's our weapons expert. Dunbar?"

Clearly O'Neill knew what the guy was concerned about, but I couldn't figure out why Nisus would be so unnerved that Carter wasn't here. What did he care?

"He is not SG-1?"

"No, look, see? SG-2. Another team entirely; the second team." O'Neill grabbed my shoulder and turned me so the guy could see my patch. I let him, but I couldn't see what the fuss was about. Carter was needed at the base for a problem with the iris that Siler couldn't solve; I was the demolitions expert; they had a fancy chemical that made gunpowder sit up and bark; peel me away from Ferretti for a couple of days and send me. No-brainer.

"I will never, never understand the Tau'ri." Nisus turned on his heel and waved for his soldiers to follow. He marched off in a big hurry. O'Neill rolled his eyes and followed. Jackson looked pained. Teal'c -- well, who knew what he ever thought. But we were in, and we were talking, not shooting. In my book, that was a good day.

Lots of meetings and demonstrations, ours and theirs, and samples and stuff, and we were all talked out and tired and dirty and feeling pretty good about ourselves -- at least I was; this was a take-able deal, a win-win, and lo and behold, after dinner, I got shown to a private room in this crazy castle of theirs. It looked like Disneyland in Greece. With pirates.

"Sir," I said to O'Neill, "is there some mistake? Shouldn't you have the private quarters?"

O'Neill, well, he glared. Not the jump-back-a-step glare; just the kinda-pissed-and-annoyed glare. And not annoyed with me, either. I knew the difference.

"Enjoy, Captain. When in Rome, you know."

And he and Jackson and Teal'c went on down to Door Number Two without another word. Me? I got a big, breezy room, hangings, locks on the door, servants, snacks. Alone. Quiet. No one snoring. As his highness the colonel would say, sweet.

****

It was getting late. I saw Dunbar settled, and went on into our room and found a safe place for the weapons and had a drink of water and stripped down to my t-shirt and boxers. There was a nice breeze coming in through the balcony doors. They'd given us the same room we had last time, when Carter was here with us. So they liked the staff weapons and it looked like we had a deal. Dunbar knew his stuff, it was gonna be a milk run, knock wood. And here I was in the soft dark, in a big ole soft bed, next to Daniel, and Teal'c on the other side of him, and sweet Jesus, save me -- Teal'c wanted to talk about it. It was dark, quiet, peaceful, and Teal'c wanted to have a slumber party.

"Is this an opportune time to ask something that has puzzled me about the Tau'ri since my arrival?" He barely paused. Daniel must have patted him. Encouraging. I closed my eyes. I did not want to talk about this. In fact, I was _trained_ not to talk about this. "In my culture, a warrior can have both the intimate companionship of his brothers, and then in times of peace, that of his wife. For this reason it has been difficult for me to understand the revulsion that apparently many Earth people have for physical intimacy between men or between women."

I drew a deep breath. Dangerous territory for me. Surely Daniel would leap into the breach. I heard him draw breath, and he shifted against me. Yes, probably getting all touchy and reassuring. There you go, Daniel. Knock yourself out. It's a fucking teachable moment. I shifted, too, and my knee came a little more firmly against his thigh, and, sue me, I didn't move it away. His breath caught, just a little, when he felt me, but of course he answered Teal'c.

"It's largely the impact of Christianity, I'd have to say. Christianity generally, historically has a deep mistrust of, um, sexual passion. It teaches that abstinence is the purest, holiest way to live. And for many years the church taught that sex was for creating children; nothing else. Only sex that could result in pregnancy was sanctioned."

Teal'c thought this over. "But is not much of your culture also derived from the Ancient Greeks? Your form of government, in fact? A great deal of your political philosophy and your value systems? How then can you revere some of their traditions while despising others?"

"Well, that's a very long story."

"I understand." Gotta hand it to Teal'c. He always took "no" for an answer.

"Teal'c, it's not that I don't want to explain. It just... Sexual contact, and relationships of all sorts, do occur between men, and between women, in our culture and in the U.S. specifically; it's just that those relationships are not, historically at least, sanctioned by Christianity, and Christianity, as you know, is definitely dominant, at least in the United States."

"And you find these relationships objectionable. Even though the Greeks, whom you revere, do not."

Daniel stirred. I held my breath. "No, no. Um. And, look, um." The next words were a breathless, hasty rush, even for Daniel. "Teal'c, all my lovers before Sha're were men. Not that there was some great crowd of them, but it was ... Sha're was just ..."

I heard a rustle, and I knew, I _knew_ that Teal'c was doing something. Embracing him. Something. I knew it. _Jesus. Daniel just came out to us. Jesus._

"We know, Daniel," I said. I put my hand on Daniel's shoulder. He, too, was wearing his t-shirt. He was warm and still. His muscles were firm. I held on. There was a silence. I couldn't feel exactly where Teal'c was, but I would bet money he was petting Daniel, holding him.

"I am grateful to know, Daniel Jackson, that you do understand."

"I do, Teal'c." His voice had dropped, become ... kind. Warm. I drew a breath, let it out. "This... tonight... is not difficult for me. It's kind of hilarious, actually. I'm probably enjoying it way more than is entirely appropriate." He shifted and turned to me. He put a warm hand over mine on his shoulder. I shivered, yet I was happy. There was laughter in his voice. I loved hearing that; the laughter. He could finally get into a situation where Sha're's name was mentioned, and there could be, on his part, a willing remembrance. There could be a bit of laughter. Maybe, someday, somehow, he would heal. Would be healed. I loved to hear him laugh. "Sorry about that, Jack."

I said something noncommittal, but I kept touching him. I could feel and hear them, in the dark, snuggle even closer, Teal'c and Daniel. I found I was breathing harder. I wanted in. I wanted to press myself against Daniel, to touch him, to see if he could be comforted, to see if he wanted anything from me. Dangerous ground. Very dangerous. And Teal'c -- I wanted to reach across Daniel and grab him, too. This was getting out of hand.

Teal'c's voice was his deadpan glee: "We must, then, maintain our chosen roles for our hosts." He fucking _nuzzled_ Daniel! I could hear it! Probably that gorgeous neck! No fair! I heard kissing! Daniel wiggled.

"Um, Teal'c, Jack may not be comfortable with this."

The hell!

I shifted closer. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to sing. I plastered myself against Daniel's back and started breathing down his neck. I ran into Teal'c's arm, and I kissed it.

"In for a penny, in for a pound, I always say."

"You don't always say that." Daniel's voice had a strained quality. He was in the middle; between us. Was he delighted? Was he scared? Was he imagining what might be in store for him tonight if he got very, very lucky? I smiled. It was dark. No one saw it.

"Daniel, you talk too much."

"I agree."

Things got a little confused after that. Clothes got shed; there was a lot of touching and rubbing and even some French kissing, and your not-so-usual brotherhood of ecstasy stuff, and Teal'c said a lot of very, very mushy stuff, even for him. Daniel said less than I thought he would, but what he said was succinct and meaningful. Hearing him call out our names would have made me come, except by then I was already way past my quota.

Somewhere toward dawn -- well, I'm exaggerating, because I was pretty drained and sleepy by then. It felt like I'd been up all night, but maybe it wasn't dawn, but whenever it was by the clock, late in the night, when we had all done all we were good for, at least for the time being, Daniel said, "You know, this is particularly hilarious, because now we're truly not lying to them about how SG-1 does things."

It was hard to talk, with my face muffled in his neck like that. "Well, we always were pioneers. First team through the gate, first chick, first Jaffa, first Greek-style fraternization."

"O'Neill, we have not yet performed all the possible forms of Greek-style fraternization."

"On the first date? Teal'c!" I still mostly wanted to laugh. I was sticky and sleepy and I now knew how they both kissed, how both their dicks felt in my hand, how both of them sounded when they came. And they knew that about me. It should have felt ominous. It felt.... great.

"It is unfortunate that Major Carter could not be with us to share in this."

"What are we going to tell Sam?" Daniel said vaguely, sleepily. He didn't seem to expect an answer, which was good, because right then, I didn't have one. But all of a sudden, I missed her. Teal'c was right.

In the morning, of course, Daniel cornered me. On the balcony. Before breakfast. Before we had to face Dunbar and try not to put off a huge "guilty secret" vibe. I supposed I'd have to explain Nisus' thing about the teams to Dunbar, but I really hadn't wanted to when we were just playing along. Now I had a whole new reason not to want to.

Daniel frowned at me. I couldn't frown back. Not even a little. I wanted to touch him. I did touch him. "Jack, are you all right with this?"

"Daniel, I'm way, way, too all right with this. You have no idea." I stopped stroking his neck and his shoulder and squeezed his traps. Hard. The night had been too short for everything I found myself wanting to do. To both of them.

"For the good of the mission, right?" He tried for sarcastic, but his eyes were soft and sweet.

"Yeah, until the shit hits the fan."

"You foresee... collateral damage."

"You think?"

"Plus, the law of unintended consequences." He turned to the balcony and leaned on it. "What were we thinking. What was I thinking."

I nailed him with the "enough already" look, and we collected Dunbar and went down to breakfast.

****

I had almost forgotten the peace that comes with sexual release, especially sexual release accompanied by the strong feelings of brotherhood and achievement that working alongside my teammates provides me. It was similar to the peace I always felt upon emerging from kel-no-reem, and in fact was even more satisfying, because there was the certain knowledge of mutual satisfaction and friendship. As spiritually necessary as kel-no-reem is, it is always informed by the necessity of holding at bay the influence of the primta. True relaxation is rare for Jaffa, and now I had experienced it once again. It was a good feeling; one I wished to repeat. I hoped that would be possible, since clearly both Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill were able to ignore or perhaps even transcend the strictures of their culture.

I was eager to see what would occur in our post-mission briefing, and indeed, in all of our interactions in the immediate future. I felt happier than I had a in a very long while. I looked forward to Jack O'Neill approaching Major Carter about our new encounters, although I wondered if that would be possible. Apparently what we were endeavoring to do was unique and alarming, even to someone as brave as my commanding officer.

We took our places around the table, and General Hammond invited O'Neill to speak. He summarized the second visit of SG-1, with Captain Dunbar, to Sarpedon's people. Then he shifted uncomfortably in his comfortable chair.

"Sir, I have to tell you, since it looks as if we'll be dealing with these people for some time to come, we may have left them with a few misconceptions about how we do ... things here on Earth."

"Specifically?"

O'Neill looked at Daniel Jackson, and his expression indicated an eagerness to be rescued. Daniel Jackson, as always, obliged. This newest example of their deep understanding and easy communication pleased me greatly.

"General, in our, uh, eagerness to win their trust and create diplomatically compatible, uh, common ground, uh, we perhaps significantly have misconstrued for them the nature of our field teams. Their combat teams are very similar, even to being comprised of four members, but they are an all-male military, and they, uh, follow the Greek model, in, um, every particular. Sir." Daniel Jackson looked pleadingly at General Hammond, as if begging for his understanding. The general stared back at him for a moment. I had no doubt that General Hammond was fully versed in the history of the Greek military system.

"I trust you can correct those misconceptions as soon as possible, Doctor Jackson," was all he said.

"Of course."

As we left the briefing, I leaned close to O'Neill, cognizant of the constant recording of our movements here within Stargate Command. The degree of mistrust these people's commanders had for their loyal troops chagrined me.

"O'Neill, are we all not still bound by your regulation known as "Don't ask, don't tell"?"

"Haven't repealed that one yet."

I paused and looked at him, desiring that he should fully comprehend my meaning. "I believe this is what you would refer to as wiggle room."

O'Neill smiled; the first genuine smile I had seen since joining him and Daniel Jackson on the balcony of the World of the Pirates the previous day.

****

We cracked. It was inevitable. I had been talking to myself for three days about the nature of serendipity and gift horses and lowered expectations and devising new and curious ways of diverting my all too vivid memory from that bed in Sarpedon's palace. I had so few visuals, it had been very dark, but I would get blindsided by the memory of Teal'c's gasp; the way he said "Daniel," just "Daniel," and how Jack's skin felt, his mouth. I would drag myself back to briefings or listening to Nyan or whatever. It was wonderful. It was torture.

But of course we cracked. The two of them showed up at my condominium about midnight, in Jack's truck. They'd been to the drugstore. They left well before dawn. They used all my towels. I couldn't sleep after they left. Because I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten all of it; well, most of it.

I lay there, damp from the shower, and thought about everything. About Sha're, about college, about Stephen, about everything. When morning came I made some coffee and sat at the kitchen table (gingerly) and thought some more. I was .... I was happy. Really, really happy. And stunned. Definitely stunned.

****

I should have said more. I owe them that, now. But I left it at this. I had blown Daniel, and Teal'c had watched me, and I had taken my time with it, tried to show him in a way that I excel at, if I do say so myself, much better than romantic speeches, just how much he means to me, how much I, well, treasure him. And when he'd finished twitching and moaning and I was lying there with my head on this thigh and him under my hands, the aftertaste of him, pure essence of Daniel, painting my mouth, just enjoying the moment, he said, "You are way, way, too good at that, for that to have been your first time."

"Go to sleep, Daniel," I said, and of course he didn't. We dozed for a minute, and then it was someone else's turn, I think Teal'c's, and that was all I said. But I should tell them more. Teal'c doesn't need to know, even though he deserves to. But Daniel will want to know everything, and that's what he'll get.

The next few days, I watched Carter. I watched her and I struggled and I thought about how military she was, how by the book, how hard it was for her every time this crazy ass system we were in forced us to break regs in order to do the right thing. I was never very much like Carter -- never that idealistic, never that optimistic by nature. Special Ops took what they saw in me and shoved it that much further toward rogue. Christ, even Thor had seen that, used that. But Carter. Carter was just so ... so pure. Not in the sense of being innocent. Not at all. In the sense of being single-minded, of being, well, kind of true blue. I loved her adventuresome nature, her recklessness, her geeky willingness to experiment. She reminded me of test pilots -- the guys who loved flying and loved being first, and in equal measure. I'd eavesdropped on her and Fraiser more than once. No, Carter was not innocent. But she had a brilliant, shining goodness that I never wanted to lose, or to see knocked out of her by the brass.

I wanted her, too. I wanted her with us in bed, now. I knew Daniel did, too, and I would bet Teal'c did, though he never came right out and said it. But I had no idea how she would take it. It was pretty radical, even for us. What the devil would we; could we do about Carter? Because, dammit, we were a team. We were.

I was niggling about that, in between feeling as contented as a lion after a hunt, when we got sent back to Planet Pirate. Surely Nisus would forgive all when he saw that Carter was back where she belonged, with us. When we got the assignment, I thought that maybe we could even find a way to use the situation to our private advantage, despite what Hammond had told Daniel after we confessed, without confessing. But Carter, as usual, was way ahead of me.

We went back, and we got through a day of new deals, new exchanges of samples, more beaming and more toasting by a totally reassured Nisus, and that night, when we arrived back in what I couldn't help thinking of as our room, of course, Carter made us.

I probably had gotten a little too comfy with the warrior brotherhood thing. A little too demonstrative, a tiny bit tipsy. I was sitting next to T, taking my boots off, and she looked at Daniel and blurted, "Oh my god! You did it, didn't you. You really did it."

I replayed the tape of the last few minutes and realized I had, without thinking, helped Daniel out of his vest and hung it on a chair, and probably petted him a bit in the process. Teal'c was already lying on the bed, bootless, his T-shirt untucked, hands behind his head, closer to me than he should have been.

Carter turned away, biting her lip, obviously fighting tears.

"We did what, Carter?" I tried for calm. Daniel looked thoughtful, though. Like he had a plan.

She was facing the corner, her arms folded. Her voice was choked. "You went to bed. You all had sex here, just like the aliens expected you to. Just like their battle groups. Like their teams really do." Teal'c sat up and moved to the end of the bed. He leaned elbows on knees and looked at Carter's back, solemn.

I stared at Daniel; Daniel stared at me. We stared at Carter. She turned around. She was trying for mad, not crying. It wasn't going very well. Her eyes were swimming.

"You don't have to deny it; it's obvious." She gave us her back again. She did know us pretty well, after all. Her voice was even. "So, did you bring Dunbar in, too? Just so I can keep my story straight in the future."

Daniel took one step toward her, but stopped. He wasn't sure whether to touch her or not, but he had that yearning look. His voice was low and patient; it made me want to kiss him. "Dunbar isn't SG-1. He isn't one of us."

Teal'c, without moving, said, "You are upset. Have we offended you, Major Carter? Are you religiously opposed to the idea of same-sex intimacy?"

She didn't turn around, but she clawed through her hair. "No, no, Teal'c. It's not that. It's not that at all. Far from it. It's just. I was just hoping." She squared her shoulders. "It's none of my business, guys. Never mind. I'm overreacting, clearly. Sorry."

Bingo.

I smiled. More of a grin, really. But she was upset. One step at a time. I glanced at Daniel, and watched his face transition from worry to peace, and then I got up and went to Carter and took her by the shoulders and shook her gently.

"Carter, look at me." I eased up, and she did, she turned. The mask was in place; she was all business. I put my hands back on her shoulders. So slight compared to Teal'c; yet so, so tough. "Did you hear what Daniel said? Dunbar's not SG-1." Her face hardly changed, but it was just a shame we'd let her twist in the wind even for the few minutes that we had. So very unfair. I cupped her smooth cheeks in my hands and kissed her. Finally.

I didn't get pushy, or even very dramatic. Not a bit like I had done when I was all wacko during our Groundhog Day. Not that she would remember that, or that I would ever have admitted it. Of course, now I could admit it. It would make a good story, now. I kissed her, and I tried for sweet.

And I got sweet right back. Her mouth was soft, familiar and lovely and warm. She was such a porcupine, our Carter. All razor sharp intellect and spiny toughness on the outside, so beautiful inside. And ours. She was ours. Every curvaceous, spit-and-polish-ed inch of her. "But you are."

She gasped into my mouth, and leaned against me and kissed me with less sweet and more intensity. Yum. Her arms were around my neck. Her breasts were soft and big and gorgeous. Damn stupid fatigues.

I heard clapping. But I didn't want to take time to look.

Daniel said, "Hey, no fair starting without us." It's hard to French kiss when you're smiling really big. But I could give it a shot.

"I think you can catch up, Daniel," Carter said. "Don't you think so, sir?"

"Stop calling me "sir". We're in bed, Carter."

"Then stop calling me "Carter"."

"Sam... "

"Technically ... not _in_ bed ... still on top ... of the covers, ... si--Jack."

"Oh.... _(!)_ Daniel....."

Daniel growled, "Sir, yes SIR."

And, that new sound could only be one thing: Teal'c. Chuckling.

the end.


End file.
